Okay, so have u ever wanted to tell someone something reeeaaally bad but u weren't sure if u should? Well that's the situations I'm in now. I suppose I'll just tell u guys. Last night a had a really weird dream and I'm not sure what it means. But basically the parts i remember were pretty awesome. Ok so we are on some sort of ship and my crush and a couple of our friends and all there. So we are just standing around and all of the sudden our friends start to push us together and make us watch a movie together. He was really flirty and it was a lot of fun and then i don't remember anything after that with him. Now I'm still on the ship just in a different part and the same friends are there but a different guy is sitting next to me. We start talking about how much we missed each other and how we never really got a chance to trying dating each other. Then out of no where we are still on the ship but it seems like we are in some sort of war. So then Jared (my old high school friend) decided its a good idea to tell me that he loves me and i said i loved him too. then for some reason we intertwined our legs and just sat talking for the rest of the dream. It may be one of the strangest I've ever had. I have no idea what it means and im not sure if i should tell my crush or quite frankly anyone about it......thoughts?

Ok so here goes...I've never had a blog before but I think I should prolly start writing out my feelings so I don't take them out on others, and I figure this is a good way for my friends and Family to see what's going on in my life while I'm away. So anyway I just started college yesterday. It's going....interesting. I was assigned roommates that are well, we're not a good match, but I filed to get new roommates today, so hopefully it starts to get better. But being put in this situation has made me question why God keeps putting me in these situations.

Well i guess i will never know or understand why, i just have to trust him.....which is  hard for me to do. I like to be able to control things, and its tough for me to leave it up to someone else. It always has been, cuz in the past Ive been let down by so many people that i just feel i can only rely on myself. I suppose that is one of my many flaws. All well, I hope I can learn to trust others and most importantly put my faith in Christ. 

I'm hoping that writing this blog will help me analyze some of my ideas and thoughts on faith. I hope i can come closer  to the Lord. Now i know that ultimately should go to Him or the Bible to do that; and im doing that too, but for now this helps me process my emotions.

(P.S. Sorry to those of you who my grammatical errors drive you nuts, get used to it, lol i am typing this for fun not to be criticized. :D )